The Role of Hair in TV Journalism

The turning point, in terms of my giving in to the concept of being a Television Personality, was when I let them put the styling mousse on my hair. Hair as always been my dividing line between television personalities and us newspaper guys. We newspaper guys generally have hair that looks like we trim it buy burning the ends with Bic lighters. We like to stand around and snicker at the TV guys, whose hair all goes in the same direction and looks as though it's full-bodied and soft, but which in fact has been permeated with hardened petrochemical substances to the point where it could deflect small caliber bullets. We newspaper guys think those substances have actually penetrated the skulls and attacked the brain cells of the TV guys, which we believe explains why their concept of a really major journalistic achievement is to interview Mr. T.

Dave Barry, Dave Barry's Greatest Hits, 1988