Most readers are put off by writers who are more concerned with style than clarity and meaning. It's a lot like a politician who takes on a speaker's voice when talking publicly. In writers and politicians this comes off as phony and pretentious.
There is a dreadful style of writing, prose intended to sound lofty and important, found in the promotional literature often put out by colleges and universities. The thoughts and messages conveyed in this form are usually quite simple. An example of this style can be found in many college mission statements. In straightforward prose, a university public relations person might write: "The goal of our institution involves providing our students with a quality education at a reasonable price." Because this is so obvious, to say it directly and plainly makes it sound kind of stupid. But when a mission statement is puffed up with carefully selected words and high-minded phrases, the simplicity of the message is replaced by syntax intended to make it sound profound. This style is pompous and false, and represents writing at its worst. Here is an example of highly pretentious writing taken from a pamphlet published by a small liberal arts college:
"The mission of ________College is to help young men and women develop competencies, commitments and characteristics that have distinguished human beings at their best. All of us who are affiliated with the college are working toward that end each day in as many different ways as there are students on this campus. Our students have unique talents and new insights that are being developed during each interaction with faculty, staff, alumni and other students. For each student, those interactions become building blocks in their foundation for living."
Ignore, if you can, the lack of substance and unadulterated puffing and pandering in this mission statement and look at the style. Note the lofty and cheesy alliteration that starts off with the words--"competencies, commitments and characteristics"--and the use of the buzz words distinguished, affiliated, insights, interaction, and foundation, typical university-speak wordage comparable to university-speak favorites such as outcomes, challenges, and impact (instead of affect) not used in this passage.
A writing teacher could use passages like this to show students how not to write. It's a bit ironic that so much heavy-handed, dead prose is produced by colleges and universities. Professors, notorious for being writers of unreadable fiction and highly pompous and dense nonfiction, contribute to the style over substance problem. Look through any university press book catalogue: the book titles themselves are beyond comprehension and the catalogue descriptions of these works are so badly written the reader has no idea what they are about. Perhaps that's intentional because many of these books are about nothing.
There is a dreadful style of writing, prose intended to sound lofty and important, found in the promotional literature often put out by colleges and universities. The thoughts and messages conveyed in this form are usually quite simple. An example of this style can be found in many college mission statements. In straightforward prose, a university public relations person might write: "The goal of our institution involves providing our students with a quality education at a reasonable price." Because this is so obvious, to say it directly and plainly makes it sound kind of stupid. But when a mission statement is puffed up with carefully selected words and high-minded phrases, the simplicity of the message is replaced by syntax intended to make it sound profound. This style is pompous and false, and represents writing at its worst. Here is an example of highly pretentious writing taken from a pamphlet published by a small liberal arts college:
"The mission of ________College is to help young men and women develop competencies, commitments and characteristics that have distinguished human beings at their best. All of us who are affiliated with the college are working toward that end each day in as many different ways as there are students on this campus. Our students have unique talents and new insights that are being developed during each interaction with faculty, staff, alumni and other students. For each student, those interactions become building blocks in their foundation for living."
Ignore, if you can, the lack of substance and unadulterated puffing and pandering in this mission statement and look at the style. Note the lofty and cheesy alliteration that starts off with the words--"competencies, commitments and characteristics"--and the use of the buzz words distinguished, affiliated, insights, interaction, and foundation, typical university-speak wordage comparable to university-speak favorites such as outcomes, challenges, and impact (instead of affect) not used in this passage.
A writing teacher could use passages like this to show students how not to write. It's a bit ironic that so much heavy-handed, dead prose is produced by colleges and universities. Professors, notorious for being writers of unreadable fiction and highly pompous and dense nonfiction, contribute to the style over substance problem. Look through any university press book catalogue: the book titles themselves are beyond comprehension and the catalogue descriptions of these works are so badly written the reader has no idea what they are about. Perhaps that's intentional because many of these books are about nothing.
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