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Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Psychics and The Fools Who Consult Them

     ….Many people are no longer satisfied that conventional religious institutions can meet their spiritual needs. So they visit psychics and other New Age types….People are paying psychics to predict the future, and they're just not getting what they paid for….

     [As a journalist] I went undercover to visit ten psychics, looking for predictions about my future. The disparity between what each told me was quite telling. Each psychic began by asking me to cut a deck of cards or close my eyes and think about my problems. But beyond that, the similarities among them ended. Each psychic had a different prediction for me. The first nine psychics I saw suggested that I become a car salesman, a builder, a politician, a psychic, an actor, a businessman dealing with resorts, and finally, a bricklayer. The tenth told me to prepare to retire with the money I was going to inherit...

     One psychic predicted that I would have a sex change operation. He was the same one who told me that I had a secret enemy, and suggested that I urinate in a milk carton, write the names of anyone who might be angry with me on the outside of the carton with a felt-tip pen, then place the full carton in my refrigerator to ward off danger.

Chuck Whitlock, Chuck Whitlock's Scam School, 1997 

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